WARRIOR of LIGHT

Where Have You Been?: Let. It. OUT.

It’s been a loooooong time, huh?

Well, after an inspiring conversation with another fellow creative and blogger, after being reminded of my old presence online in blogs I cherished in my own way, after thinking back on how a few loyal readers reached out and said they missed my posts, after remembering the joy of creating happily for myself and others around the world….

A quiet return.

And a story.

To say that 2017 has been a challenging year is an absolute INSULT of an understatement. The Omniverse decided to waltz right on in and say, “Hm, let’s shake things up for Way this year…SHAKE HER UP AND SHAKE HER HARD! Make her feel like the world is ending! Make her feel like there’s no way out of any of this! Make her have breakdown after breakdown to see if she’ll get up again and remember that she’s a Child of the Most High with POWER!” Honestly! That’s exactly how it felt! Literally from January all the way up to this very moment as I type, my life has been nothing but back-to-back-to-back drama in my world! It’s been GOOD, BAD, UGLY, and BEYOND!

smilefrown

An old friendship-turned-relationship for the “new year” (GOOD); a miscarriage soon after (BAD); no real chance to release or heal from said miscarriage despite being sent home from work by a caring and understanding boss for X amount of time to do just that (though I eventually tried through poetry), plus turning around and falling terribly ill with something resembling the flu but not quite the flu therefore missing an A WHOLE ‘NOTHER WEEK of work (UGLY); a few weeks later, find out another baby has been planted because of ill-informed, unprotected comforting/mourning sex (BEYOND)!

*EXHALES SHARPLY* YES. All that and this was only January and February. Need I go on?

I could, but there are certain parts I’m not comfortable with sharing yet…maybe one day. Maybe in a blog. Maybe in a speech. Maybe in a book…maybe never at all…but surely, not today. So skipping ahead a bit…

Boyfriend and I stand strong and maintain together as an unbreakable team no matter what (GOOD); ALL the wonderful savings for my own apartment spent on immediate needs (BAD); one of my two job positions has been eliminated (actually “disallowing one person to fill two positions at the same time” is what actually happened) because the place of business has nothing else better to do (UGLY); on top of all that…the newest one in the place (me) is also the “weakest link” (budget-wise)–so, GOODBYE! Can you say “forced transfer?” (BEYOND)! What else could possibly happen?

PLENTY. Again…that’s a tale for another day. Maybe.

But it hasn’t been ALL bad…I’m no tragic little damsel.

Our families and friends have been well-receiving of the news of the baby complete with a baby shower in the works (though NO ONE knows about my Lost One…unless they were to chance upon this entry somehow); despite the forced transfer, I got my FIRST CHOICE site selection; despite months of a dry spell of creative works (visual arts, writing, basic everyday journaling, etc.), I’m slowly but surely getting back up and stepping into my joy and routine again; I’m piecing myself back together and settling into myself and my power of Self-Care, etc. I have a strong support circle, and most importantly I’m STILL HERE…

And so to answer the Omniverse: YES, I HAVE in fact remembered that I’m a Child of the Most High with POWER.

This may sound like a quick, cheesy ending to a story but this is FAR from the end. The truth is, I’ve been musing over this entry for a couple of hours now, believe it or not, all while listening to some Mos Def and talking to baby bouncing around in the womb. But now the boyfriend has come home from work and I’m hungry, so…yeah. (^_^)

All in all, it feels great to break the ice and return. I do feel a little bit lighter with this brief update.

Poetry and creative writings are on the way!

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2 thoughts on “Where Have You Been?: Let. It. OUT.”

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