It’s been a loooooong time, huh?
Well, after an inspiring conversation with another fellow creative and blogger, after being reminded of my old presence online in blogs I cherished in my own way, after thinking back on how a few loyal readers reached out and said they missed my posts, after remembering the joy of creating happily for myself and others around the world….
A quiet return.
And a story.
To say that 2017 has been a challenging year is an absolute INSULT of an understatement. The Omniverse decided to waltz right on in and say, “Hm, let’s shake things up for Way this year…SHAKE HER UP AND SHAKE HER HARD! Make her feel like the world is ending! Make her feel like there’s no way out of any of this! Make her have breakdown after breakdown to see if she’ll get up again and remember that she’s a Child of the Most High with POWER!” Honestly! That’s exactly how it felt! Literally from January all the way up to this very moment as I type, my life has been nothing but back-to-back-to-back drama in my world! It’s been GOOD, BAD, UGLY, and BEYOND!
An old friendship-turned-relationship for the “new year” (GOOD); a miscarriage soon after (BAD); no real chance to release or heal from said miscarriage despite being sent home from work by a caring and understanding boss for X amount of time to do just that (though I eventually tried through poetry), plus turning around and falling terribly ill with something resembling the flu but not quite the flu therefore missing an A WHOLE ‘NOTHER WEEK of work (UGLY); a few weeks later, find out another baby has been planted because of ill-informed, unprotected comforting/mourning sex (BEYOND)!
*EXHALES SHARPLY* YES. All that and this was only January and February. Need I go on?
I could, but there are certain parts I’m not comfortable with sharing yet…maybe one day. Maybe in a blog. Maybe in a speech. Maybe in a book…maybe never at all…but surely, not today. So skipping ahead a bit…
Boyfriend and I stand strong and maintain together as an unbreakable team no matter what (GOOD); ALL the wonderful savings for my own apartment spent on immediate needs (BAD); one of my two job positions has been eliminated (actually “disallowing one person to fill two positions at the same time” is what actually happened) because the place of business has nothing else better to do (UGLY); on top of all that…the newest one in the place (me) is also the “weakest link” (budget-wise)–so, GOODBYE! Can you say “forced transfer?” (BEYOND)! What else could possibly happen?
PLENTY. Again…that’s a tale for another day. Maybe.
But it hasn’t been ALL bad…I’m no tragic little damsel.
Our families and friends have been well-receiving of the news of the baby complete with a baby shower in the works (though NO ONE knows about my Lost One…unless they were to chance upon this entry somehow); despite the forced transfer, I got my FIRST CHOICE site selection; despite months of a dry spell of creative works (visual arts, writing, basic everyday journaling, etc.), I’m slowly but surely getting back up and stepping into my joy and routine again; I’m piecing myself back together and settling into myself and my power of Self-Care, etc. I have a strong support circle, and most importantly I’m STILL HERE…
And so to answer the Omniverse: YES, I HAVE in fact remembered that I’m a Child of the Most High with POWER.
This may sound like a quick, cheesy ending to a story but this is FAR from the end. The truth is, I’ve been musing over this entry for a couple of hours now, believe it or not, all while listening to some Mos Def and talking to baby bouncing around in the womb. But now the boyfriend has come home from work and I’m hungry, so…yeah. (^_^)
All in all, it feels great to break the ice and return. I do feel a little bit lighter with this brief update.
Poetry and creative writings are on the way!
Nah, but FOR REAL THOUGH, does it REALLY kill you that much to extend “Black History Month” throughout the entire year for yourself as ” My African Heritage 365″ or something?
Does it REALLY kill you not be so fad-driven, fake deep and trendy with hashtags and catch phrases tumbling from your person?
Our story isn’t a joke.
Our story isn’t JUST slavery.
WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEADS!
You keep saying what happened in the past is PASSED but…if you don’t even know what the past IS, how can you even say that for sure?
Because trust me, you’ll actually find how very WRONG you are.
WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEADS.
It’s okay to live life, have fun, laugh, dance, sing, make love and eat chocolate…we don’t ALWAYS have to be so grim….but the ONLY way to do THAT to the fullest extent of our Being IS to know our FULL story.
Once we know the Truth, there is no UNLEARNING it. Once we know the Truth, the WHOLE Truth and nothing BUT the Truth…and we take the time to go within and HEAL ourselves, man oh man, will YOU be a force to reckon with!
WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEADS. WAKE UP.
I am so PLEASED to officially announce the major project that my beloved King has been working on!
Writer, poet/spoken word artist, motivational speaker, avid reader, wordsmith, and among many other amazing talents–LOVE OF MY LIFE–Stanley Mombrun is working towards publishing his very FIRST BOOK!
Here, Stanley offers words of TRUTH that the world needs hear, especially AFRICAN people worldwide AND empowerment for the most envied, sought-after, imitated but downtrodden people in the history of Planet Earth–US. We, those of African descent.
To learn more about this important project and to support, please check out Stanley’s Indiegogo page!
There are a lot of amazing things in the works that I got to be quiet about for now but…stay tuned! You’re gonna enjoy this ride!
And we…are…LIVE! 😀 ❤ ❤ ❤
I am PLEASED to announce the LAUNCH of my BRAND-NEW ONLINE SHOP! It’s finally here! Literally OVERNIGHT! Ha, ha!
It feels so good to START ANU! Get a taste of the NEW LOOK, the NEW FEEL, and most importantly–the NEW PRODUCTS! Ase!!! Click “Zee Art Shop!” at the top of the blog and click on the banner to access the site! 😉
In OTHER news–I ACED my interview! Yes, hundreds of butterflies decided to move into my stomach rent-free at the last minute (FIVE minutes before show time), BUT it was all good! The host, Ms. Rikki R. Jones made me feel so cozy and at home on her show and I want to thank her SO much for having me on her show! ❤
Yo…I am SO HAPPY, PROUD, THANKFUL and GRATEFUL for this opportunity! I’ll cherish this in my Heart forever!
And thank you so much for everyone who called in and listened and asked questions. I appreciate all the support and here is my contact info for those who want to connect with me!
If you missed out my this exclusive first official interview–then it sucks to be YOU! HA, HA, HA!! :-p Sike naw. You can listen to the OFFICIAL PLAYBACK in the archives! This interview was recorded and now it’s available right here for all times! Just click on the link below to listen. ENJOY!
I just HAVE to share this song with you! I found about this amazing artist, Azizaa the other day when one of my Facebook friends shared this article from the FADER. Check it out…and AWAKEN. Click the picture to read her latest interview!
Here’s her song which I am HOOKED on called “Black Magic Woman,” in which Azizaa brazenly proclaims her African roots, knowing EXACTLY who and what she is, and she DENOUNCES and SPITS UPON the evils of what Christianity (and ALL religions not African-based) have done to us all WORLDWIDE. She offers the words and images which should stir something up deep inside and help us all to AWAKEN and RETURN to who and what WE ARE as an African people. ENJOY!
As Artists (or as I like to say, HEARTists), we are all DEEPLY involved with ourselves and our crafts–be it poetry, singing, dancing, acting, playing musical instruments, painting, photography, etc. It seems like many artists tend to start off at a young age, but in other cases artists can find their medium of passion at a later age. But no matter WHEN the spark ignites, it’s just a FACT that we’re ALL pretty damn “sensitive about our shit,” to lovingly recall the famous statement by one Ms. Erykah Badu.
I know for ME, I have ALWAYS loved to create. You already know my artistry story from previous entries. But one thing I never really talked about is the NEGATIVE side of my love of creating. Yeah, I grew up always loving to draw and write. If I wanted to do it, I did it. Such was the childhood innocence of having no fear or limitations on my own Imagination.
But then I grew up; and as I grew up, I began to venture for sources of inspiration OUTSIDE of only myself and my childhood interests. I began to look at the work of OTHER artists. At first it started out as sweet, innocent, new inspiration…but THEN…after time passed…my Mind began to warp and play tricks on me and SOON I was COMPARING myself to these other artists!
Why can’t I draw like HER?
Why doesn’t my art look like THIS?
How come I can’t execute this technique like HIM?
Wow…his art looks better than mine….
Wow…she has better art supplies than ME…
My artwork is crap…I can’t draw.
I’ll never be as good as XYZ….
And I’ve been struggling with that downward spiral EVER SINCE. Even NOW. What I CAN say is, on the plus side, thoughts like the ones above come less and less frequently, now that I’m out of my awkward, hurting teenage years and I’ve been HEALING and coming into my own as my True, Authentic Self. ALL LEVELS. This includes my artistry and where I am in it.
Now, my current challenge is to NOT allow the fact that I am building a CAREER out of a life-long love and passion turn into my very own PRISON. The stressing about what you can or can’t do in comparison to SOMEONE ELSE. The worrying about what other people do, say or think of you and what you create. Trying to think of things to create that you think OTHERS would like, not even putting YOURSELF first anymore. And PLEASE…PLEEEAASSSE don’t get me started on when MONEY gets into the mix. 😦
It’s like you’ve allowed the world to steal your joy. You can create, become rich and famous (or not), but still get caught up in the madness of the world, but you can’t stop NOW….so all there’d be left to do is to ask yourself, “Yes, I’m creating art. Yes, I’m getting the world’s attention and feedback. Yes, I’m getting all the things I’ve ever dreamed…but am I HAPPY?”
What I mean is…I must ALWAYS remember my values both as an Artist AND as young African woman overall. I must CONQUER and completely DEFEAT my fears, because BELIEVE ME…they’re still there. I told you from the very opening of this blog site, I am NOT coming to you as someone who has ALREADY triumphed over ALL obstacles. I want you to be with me AS I PROGRESS on this Path of mine, and as you do the same on yours. ❤
All these wonderful things have most definitely been coming my way, and I’m so thankful and grateful for them all, but that doesn’t mean that things don’t get a bit rocky at times.
With that being said, I would like to bring your attention to an article that was written just this past Friday by Talib Kweli. He wrote an article titled, “In Defense Of Ms. Hill,” and all I have to say is, this article was RIGHT ON TIME in so many ways. In addition to the fact that I appreciate how there’s SOMEONE out there SOMEWHERE who’s actually defending the honor of one of music’s most gifted artists, what I REALLY appreciated was the words of wisdom that can be applied to ANY artist, famous or not.
The artist is a human being, not a product…the artist is not forever in your debt because you may have purchased a product from them at some point.
That’s just a quote from the very BEGINNING of the article. The points I’ve been making stem from an ARTIST being the cause of their own detriment to certain extent, but this ARTICLE Talib wrote emphasizes on the WORLD being the cause for the Artist’s detriment. The selfish demands and blatant disrespect of the Artist…simply for expressing what HE or SHE wants to express in relation to his or her own craft rather than respond to the DEMANDS and COMMANDS of the world.
This was such a refreshing read, I’m going to print a copy of this article out for myself and hang it up on my bedroom wall. It’s THAT real for me. This article literally SAVED me from MYSELF. I encourage you to read this excellent article, which you can find right here.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, especially since I’ve been falling back from everyone and everything. (YES, despite the fact that I’ve been out and about networking, vending, etc….I’ve STILL been falling back overall). This reflecting of mine includes reading over old journal entries, notes in my notebooks and even notes on my phone. In this case, I found one note of interest on my phone from back in January…it’s a note that I intended to share with everyone by publishing it in an entry but I never got around to doing it. So here, tonight, I’l share some of my innermost thoughts with you. Short, sweet and to the point:
Today, 01-28-14, it finally occurred to me:
I NO LONGER look at Spirituality as an alternative to Religion.
To do so no longer makes sense to me.
Because seeing as I AM Spirit manifested here in this Physical Body, I have no choice BUT to be Spiritual by default.
It’s my NATURE.
Spirituality is the noun form of a STATE OF BEING and DESCRIPTION (SPIRITUAL).
So when someone asks me what my religion is, I’ll no longer say “I have no religion, I’m a Spiritual Being,” I’ll say, “I have no religion, I’m a FREE Spirit.”
See the difference?
The thing is….we’ve all been tricked into dividing and separating things YET AGAIN.
We swing to a BRAND-NEW set of extremes.
To ask someone what their religion is, is like asking someone which prison are they locked up in?
That within itself is a WHOLE ‘nother story but…the point is, to say that you have no religion because you are SPIRITUAL is to imply that if you’re RELIGIOUS, then you’re NOT and CAN’T BE Spiritual.
That’s not true.
We forget that RELIGION IS SPIRITUALITY, broken up into fragments, pieces, and bits….infused with whatever cultural influences, human shade, perversions and hidden agendas and passed off as the ONE AND ONLY THING you need to live life here on this material plane and beyond.
So, back to the differences between the two replies to the same question: “I’m a Spiritual Being” vs” I’m a FREE Spirit.”
Again, the first answer implies that you can only be Spiritual if you DON’T have a claimed religion, and it also states that Spirituality is something to CHOOSE to be part of.
No….you just ARE.
Whether you’re a “GOOD” Spirit or a “BAD” one….you’re STILL SPIRITUAL.
But the second reply is EXACTLY what I feel, know and mean:
Because I no longer am a slave to organized religion, I am a FREE Spirit, and I don’t have to worry about my NATURAL Spirituality being stifled in any way by ANY Earthly influences.
And because Non-Religion/Free Spiritedness was the ORIGINAL FORM that Religions broke off and took from, I can feel free to jump from Religion to Religion, taking whatever I’m led to as I please because I already KNOW that the fragments I’m studying (no matter HOW PRETTY it’s set up to look), ALL are STILL a twisted, watered-down version of the ORIGINAL state of ONENESS with ALL and ALLNESS with ONE.
This is PRE-RELIGION Existence.
And I’m glad to be finally returning to it.
❤ AMEN. AMIN. AMUN. ATUM. ATEN. AUSAR. ASET. ASE. ❤
© 2014 K. N. Dozier (Way/SOULar Lioness). All Rights Reserved.
PEACE, EVERYONE! 🙂
It’s been a short while since I’ve given you any updates as to exactly what I’ve been up to so I’ll tell you real quick what’s been up.
Well, for ONE, I celebrated my birthday (July 31st) and I’ve basically been in Birthday Mode ever since! HA, HA! 😀 I’ve been treating myself and being treated, writing in my journal, still drawing and creating, and reflecting on the short set of summer classes I took at an art school in South Philly. ❤
I’ve also been making MAJOR moves as far as my networking and artwork are concerned. (More on that coming SOON! You’ll see. Stay tuned! ❤ ) It’s like…NOW that I’m RECOMMITTED to myself (because like I said before, I’ve had my little backsliding days) to my 100% HEALING AND WELLNESS and STRENGTHENING my overall relationship with the Most High and my Ancestors…I SWEAR, things have been MOVING for me! Things are manifesting ALL OVER THE PLACE!
It’s FANTASTIC! I mean, yes, there are still a few things that popped up that I didn’t find to be very pleasant–*cough, cough–STUDENT LOAN DEBT COLLECTORS–cough, cough* but guess what? I can say that the manifestations in my life are STILL in effect even with THAT.
Because of the way I RESPONDED to the situation. It’s like…yes, I owe X amount of money, but guess what? It WILL be paid. I’m not even sweating it. I’m focusing on ME and NOTHING will sway, discourage or distract me anymore! I can’t afford to get caught up in ANYBODY’S madness no matter HOW it shows up before me. It’s something we ALL have to remember and apply to our lives.
Now on to the EXCELLENT NEWS!
TODAY, I just secured my vending spot for an event that’s taking place on Saturday in Southwest Philly! It’s called “Artisan Fair” and it’s being hosted by ZED’S Last Minute Gift Shop on 45th & Baltimore Avenue. 😀 I’ll be selling my paintings, some of which are the ones that are featured on my online shop Zee Art Shop! I’ll ALSO be face-painting for the little ones! WHOO! I haven’t touched my face paints since the Odunde Festival! This is a family-oriented outdoor event and ALL are welcome! There’s going to be food, other vendors selling their wares, and it’s going to be AWESOME! I promise to take pictures and tell you ALL about it! ❤
Now I’m just at home in my room, winding down for the day. After I secured my vending spot, I went food shopping. I’m TELLING you…food shopping is a WHOLE MISSION in and of ITSELF! I started yesterday….continued TODAY…it a MANY-PART MISSION! But things are going SO WELL! I’m STILL getting on my mother’s carnivorous nerves, but guess what? Even SHE is making major changes and doing well! Plus, I get to play around in the kitchen again! I’ve got so many ideas!
But all-in-all– it’s ALL GOOD!