On Hiatus

hiatus-glow

It’s been so long since I’ve been on here that one would wonder why would I even bother making this post. Well…I’m doing it simply because I’m placing these notices across the board on my social media platforms. I REALLY need to sit my butt down and do right by ME. It’s so easy to burn yourself out and as for ME…I know how I am (extremely sensitive to external things), so it’s about that time to openly retreat…and get back on track with myself again. I started out with Instagram and Facebook, now I wrote a tweet in Twitter (though I’m hardly ever over there either) and NOW I’m here with the announcement. It’s minor. Just a way for me to keep track of myself. 🙂

It’s time to TRULY COMMIT to MIND, BODY, SPIRIT and SOUL. I’ll be back, of course–I miss y’all! And I love posting my poetry and other creative writings! So yeah, I’ll be back, when the time is right. STAY TUNED. XOXOXO

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Deja….

And there you were in the restaurant, sitting quietly in the corner enjoying a late lunch, looking as handsome as ever. My eyes couldn’t help but to keep darting to the left, sneaking peeks, snatching glances. It was too bittersweet to be true.

Is that you…?

Some hours past, I found myself in the center of the city as the sun bade this side of the world farewell until tomorrow. I concentrated on going where I need to be and…There he was, in the crowd….standing quietly on the corner, suspended in time within the frame of my Mind.

My Heart forgot its primary function…the air in my lungs vanished and my eyes stared transfixed at a sight I haven’t seen in SO LONG…so long…

Frozen within that moment, the traffic light was red. Then he walked towards me…the light was green. I walked towards him…the light was green…he walked PAST me…my breath still hadn’t returned. Deja vu struck.

It was never you.

But why am I still haunted by your image…hour later…here alone in my bed?

How could this be?

 

© 2014 K. N. Dozier. All Rights Reserved.

“Like,1 or 2…”

I’m feeling beautiful, repulsive, lonely and romantic. Talk to me. Lay with me. Watch me watching you watch me as I sigh quietly and force myself not to look away. Light a candle and try to make it last forever; dance with the shadows on the walls; part those lovely luscious African lips of yours as I slide my hands down my belly to reach a little lower and part mine and….can our centers meet, King? I’m feeling sexy, toxic, mysterious and delirious. Kiss me. Kiss her. Yes, she has a name. SHE and HER, not IT. Let’s get married. Let’s laugh at the magnitude of the joke of that previous statement. Let’s make love and brew hate and mix to the two to see what happens next….or not. Let me go because I want to stay. Draw the line then cross it. Find your way into my world because I’m already lost inside yours. Light some incense and blow the candle out. Let’s lie in the dark amidst the fluid, blue-white smoke spiraling from the tips of the incense to some unseen heavenly planes. Let’s watch our natural darkness blend in with our surroundings. Fall in love with me to these binaural beats. Let it slip into your Mind, wrap itself around your Soul and make your Heart its news home. I’m feeling blissful, loose, suicidal and sacred. Let’s blast off to the moon, Neptune, even Jupiter…all without leaving this room. Brace yourself, I feel myself floating away. Out of my body, out of your Mind. But hey…it’s just the two of us, right? Make the confusion go away. Promise me we’ll be forever. And the confusion will go away.

 

 

© 2014 K. N. Dozier. All Rights Reserved.

–It’s getting late. Don’t you think we ought to leave?

–Li?

–Yeah?

–Did you hear me? We really ought to go.

–Hmph. Is that so? And where are we gonna go next?

–Well, I’m going to take you home. There’s no need for you to be out here at this hour by yourself in the cold, so–

–So? So THEN what? You think you can play the Charming Prince, Mr. Chivalry, or Rescue Hero? Is THAT it? Pull up to the front of my place, attempt to linger with some long-ass “good night” that actually translates to, “Can I come in so I can COME in and COME in it?”

–Whoa, wait a damn minute! Where is all of this even coming from?

–You know damn well where this is coming from!

–I…

–Wow. Um…let me just drive you home, okay?

–NO. I don’t need any ride from you. I’ll get home myself. I’m not some helpless little girl.

–Li, you can’t go wandering around in the night like this. Please, just let me drive you home.

–Is it okay if I drive you home?

–Look, I’ll drop you off in front of the door, you get out the car, and I’ll drive away without another word.

–Fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2014 K. N. Dozier. All Rights Reserved.

 

Relating All Too Well to Illusions

Twenty-three. I’m in tears….as if I was decades older, looking back on lost memories. Here, an old woman without you, for I lost you so many years ago.

Twenty-three. I’m in tears…mourning a loss I never experienced because the very thought of any kind of resemblance of a possibility of losing you hurts me more than anything I’ve REALLY experienced ever did.

Twenty-three. These late-night emotions are triggered by the imaginary circumstances glaring out at me on the T.V. Oh, how I relate to the main character too well. Feel his loss too well. Cry so easily.

Twenty-three. I am twenty-three. Not one-hundred-and-three…and you’re still here. So beautiful….so real…so brown….so black…so African…so loved…so mine…

I think it’s safe for my tears to dry.

Windows

Once I catch a glimpse of your eyes, I realize that I can fathom the well of dreams hidden there. Hidden in plain sight, but in danger of going unnoticed, I already know that you prefer it that way. Suppressed dreams that shouldn’t be there in the first place, or so we’ve constantly been told. That’s why I’ve never said a word to you about it.

On the days I feel bold and I manage to hold your gaze longer than just a few seconds, I can also see…me. I can see me rippling on the surface, but never sinking deep enough to reach that secret well. Your eyes hold so much warmth, such good intentions…and so many disappointments. You won’t dare allow me to become yet another one. Or yourself.

That’s why I’ve never said a word to you about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2014 K. N. Dozier. All Rights Reserved.

What’s in a Name? {Prelude}

This right here is an aside. Here is what it looks like. Take heed and consider going to sleep. Even if you don’t, the Sun will still rise on a brand new day. Say “Hello, beautiful. It’s been a long time. I’ve missed you. You’re such a sight to see. I don’t know how I could have ever missed your beauty in this light….with these white sheer curtains, these white bed sheets, these white walls….and our beautiful BLACK bodies intermingled in all of this. How COULD I have ever missed this?” And once those words escape your lips, open your eyes and realize that ALL of this is just…a mere…ASIDE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2014 K. N. Dozier. All Rights Reserved.